6/30 Things: Hardest Experience

{To know what I'm talking about and see previous posts, start here}


6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

When I was thinking about this my first thought went straight to my father. But it was more like that's what my first thought should have been. In truth, that's my life. Yes it's very painful but it's a part of my life, I've never known different. My second thought went to when I was 17ish.
I don't want to get to descriptive or detailed because it was really painful for me as well as for some other people, things have been forgiven, and things have been put in the past where they belong. But to stick with the 3o things, I'll put down a brief overview.
Basically, I chose a boy over my very best friend. And it all went downhill from there.
I was homeschooled so my only friends were in my youth group. So after said boy and I broke up I had no one. Everyone basically sided with him and I had already lost the friends who wouldn't have sided at all. No one would talk to me and the youth minister was new to our youth group, new out of college, and wasn't seasoned enough to know how to deal with this sort of thing.
I feel like I'm making this sound on the light side of things but I can assure you that they weren't. Things were really bad and I was really broken.
I had been going to this youth group my entire Jr. Sr. high career. I had been going to that church since I was ten. After one terrible choice on my part I was now a black sheep. My family decided to leave this church to attend another one just for me.
Things carried on into my freshman year of college. I brought my past, my hurt, with me.
And when my old youth group came to my college for a high school event things came to a boiling point. It got really ugly between me and the youth minister because of something I said. I went back to my dorm room and sobbed for hours. The next morning I was going to drive the two hours back home to be with my mom when he found me. We talked argued for another hour. Things were so misunderstood, feeling so badly bruised, that there was nothing either of us could do or say to fix it.
To put time between us would be the only thing that was left to do.

It's been 10 years. Things are cordial between me and the youth pastor. I think unspoken forgiveness on both of our parts. My best friend and I are reacquainted and I'm very happy to have her back in my life. That was a very incredibly painful time in my life and took me quite some time to cope with it. Years. If I could I'd want to redo the whole thing from start to finish knowing what I know now. But I grew up and learned things because of it. But heaven knows I wouldn't want to go through it again.