Saturday, September 19, 2009

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

365 days later...

Monday, September 15th, 2008, after the doctor's appointment, I went home and contractions started becoming a little more frequent and more painful. By 20 til 5 they were 3 minutes apart for a half an hour. I called out to Bryan telling him it was time and he rushed downstairs immediately, grabbed the suitcase and we were off headed to the hospital.
He kept wanting to speed the entire way there but I reminded him that the 5 minute drive would go a lot faster if we didn't get pulled over or into a car accident. So he slowed. I kept getting a giggle in my throat because I couldn't believe it was happening. That I was truly in labor.
We got to the Baby Center at about 5 and the contractions were growing stronger. They put us in a room and had me walk around to make labor stronger. I kept having to stop in the hallway with my head on Bryan's chest, making my way through a contraction and being reminded to breathe through it. After two hours they decided to admit us.
We were moved to a birthing room and got settled in. By now the contractions were at an 8 out of 10 and I was beginning to cry a little. Soon it was at a 10, my contractions were off the scale and I was sobbing. I asked for an epidural and my (very kind) regular doctor said to get me out of my misery although I was still at 1.5 cm dilated and 80% effaced.
A half an hour later I received the epidural, which was amazing, at about 10pm and the only thing that hurt about it was the tape coming off. Owie.
I was able to rest for an hour and a half and when they checked me again and I was at 7.5 cm dilated. Relief. He broke my water which was an extremely weird feeling. I was like I was peeing a thick liquid and couldn't stop or start it.
They waited until I was complete and then I started pushing. I prayed throughout pushing for our safety. I was pushing fine but Amelia wasn't moving too much. They could see her in the canal but she just wasn't progressing. The doc was getting worried because her heart rate kept dropping from 180 to 70. It fortunately kept going back up but my doctor wasn't going to keep it up because he didn't want her becoming stressed. He said it might come down to a c-section. I pushed one last set and she just wouldn't budge. C-section.
I was scared but remained calm. I would do whatever it took to keep our baby safe. I prayed it wouldn't come down to one but since it had I again prayed for our safety. I just wanted my baby safe.
We went into surgery and I was getting prepped. They spread my arms out like a cross and put a monitor on my forehead. I remember my doctor touching the scaple underneath my belly and it hurt a bit. So they upped the epidural. Then he started. And soon I could feel him tugging at her. It didn't hurt, it was just weird. Bryan got to see her pop out and said she was bright eyed. They brought her to me and I got to see that beautiful little face. They gave me more drugs and I was out for the closures.
After they were finished they woke me back up and got me ready for recovery. Bryan went and showed his parents and my mom (the brand new, proud grandparents) the pictures. Amelia stayed with me and we bonded. It was pretty amazing. The rest of the morning/day I was pretty delerious, in and out of consciousness and getting to feed ...and it was great. She is the most wonderful, beautiful creature I have ever seen.
And it still remains so.
She babbles, laughs, walks, crawls, cries, screams, throws tempertantrums, gives hugs, is tall, is funny, charming, sweet as pie, is trouble, eats people food, (tries to) eat dog food, is amazing. I am more in love with her today than yesterday and I am all the more excited for the future.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for this beautiful miracle you have placed in our lives. I am forever grateful.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

A Quarter of a Century Old

Today is my birthday and I am now 25.
Sometimes I don't feel very old, nor mature. Sometimes I still think I'm 17. However, I know I'm not because of all the experience I've had, have lived through, and have shoved upon me.

I was blessed to talk to one of the best friends of my entire life tonight. A dear, dear friend that goes way back with me. Talking to her made me miss being a preteen, sitting in her pink room, talking about boys, our parents and what it will be like to grow up. Some days I miss those days. Some days I miss those days a lot.
I find it amazing how we wish away our childhood just to reach a certain age when really our childhood is the shortest and most fleeting. We complain about having to go to school when that is really our only worry. That and chores. But we were free to play, to explore, to do nothing and feel like we were doing everything. To stay the night at our friends and not have to worry about who was watching the baby or if I paid the bill that's due on Monday.
I remember being 13, 15, 16 and always reaching for the next birthday. I wanted to have my own car, my own home, to be married and have babies. And, trust me, I am beyond blessed to have all of those, but the years, the years keep going faster and faster.
I'm 25. I feel like I just skipped 23 and 24.
And the quickness of the years keep reminding me with their threatening page turning on the Calenders.
My daughter's first birthday is just 11 days away. Eleven days.
She's standing and squatting, crawling and coasting, babbling and laughing. It's so crazy how fast they grow.
I tried really hard to hold on to time during the first 6 months, but these last six just slipped through my hands. I tried not to push time by wishing for the next milestone but sometimes it was hard not to. When she wasn't mobile but would become frustrated because she couldn't reach something. When she could crawl but cried cause she could not stand. Now she can stands but only coasts, and I am not wishing for the walking just quite yet. I know it will come too fast and she'll be the destructor of all the household things that I once loved.

I am so very grateful to be 25. I have an incredible, fantastic husband, a beautiful and charming daughter, a loving and irreplaceable family, amazing and the sweetest friends. I am blessed to not want for anything, a roof over my head and place to call home, a car that works, food in my belly, and most importantly a God who loves me.

I am blessed.

I was asked tonight if there is something that I would like to do before I turn 26. Well, here is a beginning of a list for before I turn 30.

1. (maybe, I'm pretty sure) have more babies.
2. ride and own my own motorcycle.
3. take a really nice vacation. Out of the midwest.
4. be debt free.
5. teach, make, and sell pottery.

That's a good start. Maybe I'll add on as I think of them.

Thank you all for this wonderful birthday.
It's been the best so far.
Here's to another 25 (x2 -maybe 3).