Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Well over a month

My darling baby is now 5 weeks and three days old. Oh my, how time flies. The days have been glorious. Tough learning how to deal with a three year old while soaking in my new babe. Finding the opportunities to clean, spend time with each kid, finding time for myself, time for the hubby, when to run errands. It's all a whole new territory.
Today the three of us ran to T@rget and I almost forgot my wallet at the check out because of V crying and A dilly-dallying around! Life with two is NUTS! But I wouldn't change a thing.

Tomorrow the four of us are going to check out a pre-k for Miss A. She has been begging me to start school. I didn't want to start her in January right after V coming along because I didn't want A to think we were tossing her out for the new babe. But she still begs me.
It seems like a nice school. A friend's kid attends and a lady from church works there. So we'll see what we think of it when we look into it in the morning.

As for tv, I'm into a few new shows that I've just got to mention. Bryan and I are watching Once Upon A Time and we love it. It's about Fairy Tale characters being placed under a spell taking them from their world to ours. So far so good. I'm really bad about watching things on Netflix so I have a hard time waiting to watch the next episode a week later! But I'll just have to wait.. *sigh*
Another is Glee. I know. Don't hate me. Someone mentioned it on FB and I thought I'd see what all the hubbub was about. I love the singing! Such beautiful voices. However, the plot is sorta dumb but funny and lame but intriging all at the same time. I watched both season 1 and 2 in like 4 or 5 days and now have to wait for season 3 to start over or come to Netflix. I wanna know what happens! Ok, shoot me now.
Grimm. It's intriging and entertaining. Bryan and I really dig it.
And the last is Downton Abbey. EVERYone seems to be talking about it and I've only heard good things. I started watching a couple episodes but I wasn't sure I liked it or not. So a lovely friend of mine and I were talking about it the other day and she urged me to keep going with it. So I did and now I'm addicted. I watched the first season on Netflix and went to watch another episode only to find that was the end of the season and I have to start season 2! Only problem is they already started season 2 on TV so I have to wait. But OH! Lovely friend found that it's on the computer at PBS.org!! Lovely friend rocks. So I'll have to pry the computer away from my hubby as soon as he returns home from Worship practice.

And last Saturday my bf Emily threw a Sip&See for V and me. It was so lovely. People could just come and love on V, I could chat with grown-ups, and we could all sit around and sip hot cocoa (or tea) and munch on the goodies that Em made. It was fabulous. And other than having to nurse poor V about 5 or 7 times I think I enjoyed it more than a baby shower! Ok, maybe not. They're both awesome in their own right. But it sure was fun.

Tomorrow is a dear friend of Bryan and mine's birthday. She'll be 82!! She is a good friend of ours because she is the first person who really welcomed us at our church when we first came. We've been friends with her for over 5 years! My how time flies.
Wait... didn't I already say that?

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Long(er) Version - part III

My doctor came in to check on me for the second time. She checked my dialation (I got up to 5.5 cm dilated all on my own before the epidural, yay!) and then asked if I wanted her to pop my bag of waters. I asked her if it was necessary and since she said no so did I. I figured it would pop when it was good and ready.
After she left I curled up with my really cozy blanket that I brought from home, got some chapstick on my lips, and shivered while I rested. After a while I thought maybe I had wet myself since I couldn't really feel anything. My nurse checked me and lo and behold, my bag of waters broke. Woot!
The nurse asked if I was starting to feel any pressure. I told her that I thought so. When I had A I couldn't feel anything let alone the need to push because the epidural was just that strong but I could definitely feel pressure with Miss V. She didn't want to check me since my bag of waters had broken so she wouldn't cause an infection. She decided to call in the doctor and wait for her to check me.
Once the doctor came back she checked me and sure enough I was at a ten. By this time it was about three in the morning and it was time to push.
Both my Dr. and my nurse asked again if I was feeling pressure and I was pretty sure that I was. And so I pushed. I pushed with all that I had. With A I didn't know if I was pushing right or not. I couldn't feel it at all and so I couldn't tell but this time I was either going to have a baby or a bowel movement.
As with A, V's heart rate kept dropping but this time I wasn't so numb that I couldn't move at all so they asked me to switch to my side to try to get her heart rate back up. It worked so I went back onto my back to push some more. After pushing her heart rate dropped again. So I went to my other side then back to the right side. Her heart rate went back up so again I went back to my back to push.
This time after pushing when her heart rate went down they had me get on my hands and knees to try to rotate her in case she was on the placenta (I think). That was a task with very numb and heavy legs but I did it. Her heart rate went back up so I went back to my back to push again.
At some point they had removed the monitors they were using and had changed it out for the one that they put into the baby's head. I wasn't very happy about this when I learned about it later on but what can you do? I thought the beeping sound of her heartbeat was from a different machine since I hadn't heard it before but I really didn't think anything about it at the time.
So, I pushed and I could tell my doctor was going to do everything she could so that I could have this baby naturally before a c-section was even an option. She didn't talk much but what little she did say was very calm and straight forward.
For whatever reason, I wasn't pushing her out on my own. The doctor informed me that she needed to do an episiotomy. I asked if she was going to do a pressure episiotomy which, at the time, I didn't think anything of it. All my reading about a natural birth must have stuck because it's best to get a pressure epi... if you don't already have an epidural. So, now I laugh at myself for having asked that question. My doctor must have thought I was a goob for asking such a question but she was good enough to not make me feel stupid for it.
With the epi only helping and not fully doing the trick the doctor informed me that she would need to suction my baby. Thankfully she only had to do it once because with that second to last push her head was out. One final push and my sweet baby was here.
And she was beautiful. The doctor held her up so I could see her right quick before the nurse took her to suction her. It felt like eternity for them to let me hold her. I remember thinking, "She doesn't need to be cleaned up, I just want my baby!"
But while they did that, one of my favorite moments was Bryan coming up to me, with tears in his eyes, telling me that I did it. I did it.
Soon my baby was in my arms and I just cuddled her, loved on her, kissed her sweet mucusy covered head. I was in love for the third time.

It wasn't the dream labor and birth that I had wished for. It didn't go perfectly planned having to need an epidural, the monitors, an episiotomy, and for them to suction her head to get her out. I didn't get to watch in a mirror or sit up to be able to see her come out. I didn't get to hold her right away since she had a bowel movement in the womb. I didn't get to latch her to get the placenta out.
I also didn't have to have a c-section. I didn't have to be knocked out for them to stitch me up while they completely cleaned her up before getting to see her.
I did get to see her after my doctor held her up. I did get to hold her pretty close to right away. I did get to cuddle her while my doctor fixed me up. I did get to be awake and concious the entire time. And I did get the pleasure of being the one to announce her name.

Violet Grace
7 pounds 3 ounces
December 24, 2011
3:47 am

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Long(er) Version - part II

The birthing center is only 3 minutes from our house which was good because I was so cold and shivering so hard through the contractions. And once we got there Bryan had to have the nurse up front ring us in because it was after 10 so I had to wait. Then when I got out of the car I had another contraction and just had to stop and breath through it. Thankfully the nurse noticed and got me a wheel chair.
They got us inside and into the back room to check to make sure I was in real labor. This is not the process that I'm fond of. Checking for dialation is thee worst part. I don't remember it ever hurting so much. I cried through the whole process, sobbed is more like it. The poor nurses felt bad for me too.
We were admitted and headed back to our room. Since I had previously had a c-section the nurse told me that I had to have an IV and I had to be monitored but she said that since she's the nice nurse she was going to give me the wireless monitors so I could still walk around and soak in the tub with the jets if I wanted.
I figured I'd wait to soak in the tub and opted to walk around with Bryan. He was being such a support that I really just wanted him to be near me. I remember that every time I would have a contraction I would just hang on him. He asked me to put my arms around his neck but I just couldn't do it. I had to let them hang down over his arms as he held me up.
It was almost midnight by this point and the contractions were becoming very intense. I could still tolerate them to where I had a break in between them and could talk and walk. But that wasn't going to last much longer.
The monitors kept slipping every time I had a contraction because my round belly was all baby and there was nothing for the monitors to hold onto when it went from round to squarish so I had to head back into my room. It wasn't a big deal since I could still walk around and now I had a tray to lean on while Bryan rubbed my back during the contractions.
By this point they hurt. Like nothing else I've ever felt before. I was nearly crying through the contractions because I just couldn't get past the pain. And I honestly think that the pain is different for everyone. God bless those that can get through labor without any medications because that was not me.
At this point my very kind nurse, Ashely, asked if I wanted to try a medication through the IV. She said it may not last for very long and would only take the edge off. The most it was suppose to last for was an hour but she hadn't ever seen it last that long. I agreed to it because I didn't necessarily want the epidural so if this took the edge off then I was willing to try it.
She gave me the medicine and it took the edge off of two contractions. Two! And by the third I was starting to feel the intense pain again. By this time the anasthesiologist came by to let me know that he had to be in the building on call since I had the c-section before. I remember him telling me that hopefully I wouldn't have to see him again after he made his introductions.
My eyes were closed to help me focus on the contractions while he was talking. And I remember that after he had finished talking another contraction came on and it was so bad, so intense, and so very painful that I told Bryan to tell him to come back! Well, turned out he hadn't even left the room. He was still filling out paperwork to the right of me! (haha)
I remember asking about the epidural. I asked my nurse if it was possible for it to be turned down once it was time to push so that I could feel what I was doing and also if I would be able to sit up more once I would be pushing instead of laying flat on my back. Yes, on both accounts. She said each anesthesiologist was different and gave the epidurals differently. Some were a lot stronger than others but this guy was good.
He got to work pretty quickly and as I was getting my epidural put in I remember thanking God that the pain was almost over. I just couldn't bear it any longer.
He was good and fast to get it all over and done with and I was thankful. Because, believe you me, I would have been one of those screaming mothers in labor because of the pain if I hadn't been able to get it.
Oh my word contractions hurt.

Monday, January 09, 2012

The Long(er) Version - part I

*Disclaimer - This is a birthing story so there are going to be some gory details. In truth, this is really more for me and my baby, than for anyone else, to remember her beautiful birth. Proceed with caution (and don't say I didn't warn you) ...

Thursday the 22nd I had the horrible doctor's appointment. After having said something on facebook a few people had commented that sometimes doctors will be rough with the patients to try to induce labor. Seems about right to me.
Thursday night I had contractions sporadically throughout the night. They were like Braxton Hicks but with a kick, so to speak. But they pretty much died off by the time I woke up.
Friday morning I was having a few again but they were so all over the place and not consistant in any way I figured this would be a test run. I let my mom know what was going on but not to worry about it since I didn't think anything would come of it. By two I told her they were a little more consistant and that if they continued that way I would let her know by four.
My baby sister, Courtney, was also on her way up. She's in Missouri right now and wanted to come up to visit us whether we were going to have this baby soon or not. Unbeknownst to her that I was in labor. I didn't want to say anything to her until I knew it was real. No need to get her all excited if the contractions were just going to die off.
Once four o'clock hit I figured this was more than likely going to head towards real labor than not. Contractions were actually becoming consistant although still about 8 minutes apart and they were getting a little more intense. Called mom and told her to go ahead and head our way. And at this point Court showed up. With ice cream. She's a good sister :) I told her I was having contractions and she was extatic. She picked a good weekend to visit.
I continued counting contractions and eventually let myself take a shower. I didn't want to do it too soon but wanted to wait until labor was underway. By eight my mom showed up and we were all laughing and chatting in between contractions. Our three year old was a little concerned each time a contraction hit but Aunt Coco and Gramma were good to keep her entertained.
By nine, Bryan put A to bed which ended up taking a while. I was finally ready to go but now had to wait until the kiddo was asleep. I at least wanted us to be there to put her to bed so she'd sleep well instead of worrying where momma and daddy were.
Near ten we were finally heading out the door and on our way to the hospital.
I had made it farther this time that I did with A before heading to the hospital. This time I had to stop for each contraction so I could concentrate but also because it hurt so much that I couldn't really move when it hit. Mom helped me get around the car while Bryan moved hers and got ours started. I remember asking her if they got worse than this, and she gave me the truthful version - Yes.