The Long(er) Version - part III

My doctor came in to check on me for the second time. She checked my dialation (I got up to 5.5 cm dilated all on my own before the epidural, yay!) and then asked if I wanted her to pop my bag of waters. I asked her if it was necessary and since she said no so did I. I figured it would pop when it was good and ready.
After she left I curled up with my really cozy blanket that I brought from home, got some chapstick on my lips, and shivered while I rested. After a while I thought maybe I had wet myself since I couldn't really feel anything. My nurse checked me and lo and behold, my bag of waters broke. Woot!
The nurse asked if I was starting to feel any pressure. I told her that I thought so. When I had A I couldn't feel anything let alone the need to push because the epidural was just that strong but I could definitely feel pressure with Miss V. She didn't want to check me since my bag of waters had broken so she wouldn't cause an infection. She decided to call in the doctor and wait for her to check me.
Once the doctor came back she checked me and sure enough I was at a ten. By this time it was about three in the morning and it was time to push.
Both my Dr. and my nurse asked again if I was feeling pressure and I was pretty sure that I was. And so I pushed. I pushed with all that I had. With A I didn't know if I was pushing right or not. I couldn't feel it at all and so I couldn't tell but this time I was either going to have a baby or a bowel movement.
As with A, V's heart rate kept dropping but this time I wasn't so numb that I couldn't move at all so they asked me to switch to my side to try to get her heart rate back up. It worked so I went back onto my back to push some more. After pushing her heart rate dropped again. So I went to my other side then back to the right side. Her heart rate went back up so again I went back to my back to push.
This time after pushing when her heart rate went down they had me get on my hands and knees to try to rotate her in case she was on the placenta (I think). That was a task with very numb and heavy legs but I did it. Her heart rate went back up so I went back to my back to push again.
At some point they had removed the monitors they were using and had changed it out for the one that they put into the baby's head. I wasn't very happy about this when I learned about it later on but what can you do? I thought the beeping sound of her heartbeat was from a different machine since I hadn't heard it before but I really didn't think anything about it at the time.
So, I pushed and I could tell my doctor was going to do everything she could so that I could have this baby naturally before a c-section was even an option. She didn't talk much but what little she did say was very calm and straight forward.
For whatever reason, I wasn't pushing her out on my own. The doctor informed me that she needed to do an episiotomy. I asked if she was going to do a pressure episiotomy which, at the time, I didn't think anything of it. All my reading about a natural birth must have stuck because it's best to get a pressure epi... if you don't already have an epidural. So, now I laugh at myself for having asked that question. My doctor must have thought I was a goob for asking such a question but she was good enough to not make me feel stupid for it.
With the epi only helping and not fully doing the trick the doctor informed me that she would need to suction my baby. Thankfully she only had to do it once because with that second to last push her head was out. One final push and my sweet baby was here.
And she was beautiful. The doctor held her up so I could see her right quick before the nurse took her to suction her. It felt like eternity for them to let me hold her. I remember thinking, "She doesn't need to be cleaned up, I just want my baby!"
But while they did that, one of my favorite moments was Bryan coming up to me, with tears in his eyes, telling me that I did it. I did it.
Soon my baby was in my arms and I just cuddled her, loved on her, kissed her sweet mucusy covered head. I was in love for the third time.

It wasn't the dream labor and birth that I had wished for. It didn't go perfectly planned having to need an epidural, the monitors, an episiotomy, and for them to suction her head to get her out. I didn't get to watch in a mirror or sit up to be able to see her come out. I didn't get to hold her right away since she had a bowel movement in the womb. I didn't get to latch her to get the placenta out.
But..
I also didn't have to have a c-section. I didn't have to be knocked out for them to stitch me up while they completely cleaned her up before getting to see her.
I did get to see her after my doctor held her up. I did get to hold her pretty close to right away. I did get to cuddle her while my doctor fixed me up. I did get to be awake and concious the entire time. And I did get the pleasure of being the one to announce her name.

Violet Grace
7 pounds 3 ounces
December 24, 2011
3:47 am