Wednesday, March 04, 2009

"And the Valiant Attempt Award goes to..."

Last night, I made a valiant attempt at putting my daughter in her crib, in her own room for the first time last night.
It was hard.
I cried.
But I had thought to myself that I didn't want to be one of those moms that drives their kids crazy because she won't let them grow up. Amelia is no longer two months old. Yes, she's still completely dependent on me, but she's growing up. She couldn't stay my tiny newborn baby forever. She'll always be my baby, but I've got to let her grow up.
She fussed as usual about an hour after I laid her down, but it's always because her paci fell out when she dozed off. So, I put it back in and returned to watching American Idol with Bryan. Five minutes later, she was screaming and nothing would console her. So I picked her up and went to the rocking chair in her room. I think she just woke up and didn't know where she was, scared. We rocked and cuddled until she was back fast asleep. And then a little bit longer for mommy.
The night was kind of a haze since I couldn't just reach over and hand her her paci or roll over and pick her out of her bassinet to feed her. I had to get up and walk down the hall each time her paci fell out, twice, and also to go get her to feed her. I tried bringing her back to our bedroom to feed her but I felt like it just woke her up more. Then, at about 2 in the morning, exhausted, I went to grabbed my crying, hungry baby and went back to our room. I fell asleep feeding her and woke 2 hours later. I figured it would be about feeding time again so I would fall asleep til she cried and feed her again. I feel asleep and woke at 6 to an awake baby. Not hungry. Just awake.
She's starting to eat less and less at night. I think she just wants to be in our room, in our bed. I've created a monster. So, now the trick is to figure out if she's hungry or not really.
I feel like a need a whole night awake just to figure this out...

::sigh::

1 comment:

Audrey said...

Maybe you didn't create a monster. I think the opposite. Have you ever heard of family beds? They are basically an addition to the parent's own bed, similar to what you've already been doing. I don't know specifics but I read about it in a book my sister had. Do what works for your family.