So much anxiety.

I know it must be getting close to delivery because my mind is more of a blinding jumbled mess of worries rather than focusing and dealing with one at a time.

Worry #1
Today, a few people are saying that they think I'm having a boy.
What?? Are you kidding me??
So during church I kept thinking:
People think I'm carrying like a boy.
I've heard that boys weigh more than girls at birth.
I thought I was having a boy originally.
What if the ultrasound tech was wrong??
I've heard too many stories of people expecting one and getting another.
If it is a boy, I've already got the room set up for a girl,
I have tons of girl clothes,
the name is picked out,
I've made decorations for a girl.
My mind and heart are already set on a girl.
What if it's a boy??

So, first, I've decided, next time we're not finding out the sex.
Two, if we ever decide to find out again, we're getting a fluid test for certainty.
I kind of wish they could do one more ultrasound (even this soon) just so if the baby were to be a boy I could prepare mentally and literally -changing the room, buying boy stuff, etc.
And three, if it is a boy I would really be happy either way. We just want the baby healthy. It's just difficult being told one and getting your heart set on that with the thought of a little bit of "plumbing" having been missed.

Worry #2
Yesterday, we went to birthing classes. Although they were very informative and helpful, watching a baby coming into the world has a tendency to freak a soon-to-be mom out! How in the world does a woman's vagina come back from something like that!?!! I've always understood how labor and birth works but to see it when it's going to happen very soon is incredibly disconcerting.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
Like my mom said to me today: "...remember labor can't be THAT bad or each woman would only have one child!!!!"
She's had three. I can at least do one.

Worry #3
It's also kind of frustrating wondering when it will happen. And since I've never done this before it's hard to tell what my body is doing/saying. I'm showing plenty of signs that it could be very soon but at the same time I'm not due for another 2 weeks and 5 days. I know it's a guesstimate but still, Dr.'s have to somewhat know what they are talking about. I just wish they would check me already!
I feel like I'm ready to have this baby. I want to have this baby. I'm excited to have this baby but then I remember labor.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

In spite of you possibly thinking that I'm totally not ready and am unprepared for this (you're probably not- well let's hope that you're not anyway), I'm actually the opposite. I couldn't be more (than anything) excited, (as) ready (as I can be) and (somewhat) prepared.
Just a first time soon-to-be mom.