So much anxiety.

I know it must be getting close to delivery because my mind is more of a blinding jumbled mess of worries rather than focusing and dealing with one at a time.

Worry #1
Today, a few people are saying that they think I'm having a boy.
What?? Are you kidding me??
So during church I kept thinking:
People think I'm carrying like a boy.
I've heard that boys weigh more than girls at birth.
I thought I was having a boy originally.
What if the ultrasound tech was wrong??
I've heard too many stories of people expecting one and getting another.
If it is a boy, I've already got the room set up for a girl,
I have tons of girl clothes,
the name is picked out,
I've made decorations for a girl.
My mind and heart are already set on a girl.
What if it's a boy??

So, first, I've decided, next time we're not finding out the sex.
Two, if we ever decide to find out again, we're getting a fluid test for certainty.
I kind of wish they could do one more ultrasound (even this soon) just so if the baby were to be a boy I could prepare mentally and literally -changing the room, buying boy stuff, etc.
And three, if it is a boy I would really be happy either way. We just want the baby healthy. It's just difficult being told one and getting your heart set on that with the thought of a little bit of "plumbing" having been missed.

Worry #2
Yesterday, we went to birthing classes. Although they were very informative and helpful, watching a baby coming into the world has a tendency to freak a soon-to-be mom out! How in the world does a woman's vagina come back from something like that!?!! I've always understood how labor and birth works but to see it when it's going to happen very soon is incredibly disconcerting.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
Like my mom said to me today: "...remember labor can't be THAT bad or each woman would only have one child!!!!"
She's had three. I can at least do one.

Worry #3
It's also kind of frustrating wondering when it will happen. And since I've never done this before it's hard to tell what my body is doing/saying. I'm showing plenty of signs that it could be very soon but at the same time I'm not due for another 2 weeks and 5 days. I know it's a guesstimate but still, Dr.'s have to somewhat know what they are talking about. I just wish they would check me already!
I feel like I'm ready to have this baby. I want to have this baby. I'm excited to have this baby but then I remember labor.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

In spite of you possibly thinking that I'm totally not ready and am unprepared for this (you're probably not- well let's hope that you're not anyway), I'm actually the opposite. I couldn't be more (than anything) excited, (as) ready (as I can be) and (somewhat) prepared.
Just a first time soon-to-be mom.

I thought I'd blog since Bryan is taking forever to finish up work.

I had another Dr. appointment today. He was suppose to check if I'm dilating any but didn't for some reason or another. My mom, mom-in-law and grama are all kind of bummed and worried that he hasn't checked me for dilation yet. I'm a little frustrated too.
He also measured my belly and said I was measuring at 38 weeks when I'm 37 today. That's the second time in a row my belly measured a week larger. He also said we're looking at a 7.5 to an 8.5 pound baby... eek! I'm praying really hard that we won't end up looking at a c-section. I really don't want to have to go that route. And I'm really scared and nervous about it.

Btw, God is good.

Our house looks like a baby store vomited.

I asked Bryan to empty out the baby's room so I could organize it. Emily has been wonderfully giving us bags of baby clothes and other items. Then Keith and Em had a garage sale which we ended up taking more stuff that they were happily giving away.
So now our dining room is FULL of baby items.
A boppy, a swing, baby tubs, decorations, and lots and lots of baby clothes, blankets and what not.
It's insane.
At least it's getting somewhat organized.

Weekly visit

Today I had another Dr. appointment. This time with a different doc because my regular is on vacation. He seemed nice enough.
Checked for strep, then he measured my belly. Then he checked the position of the baby- she's in position. Yay. Then he told me that she feels like she's about 6-7 pounds. So maybe an 8 pound baby ...eek! I'm hoping he's really off. Or that I'm further along than they thought. Something!!
I can feel her squirming around in there. It feels like she's trying to push her way out and sometimes it can be painful. Just a little and not for long. But still.
I'm also having Braxton Hicks contractions. They are crazily all over the place. I did get a little worried the other night when they were at 5 minutes apart but then they went back to 30 minutes and an hour or so apart. They don't hurt but they are certainly tight.
I gotta tell ya, I love being pregnant but I'm ready to meet this little one.
Especially before she gets any bigger...

I want to ride my bicycle...I want to ride it where I like.

However, I can't.
Bryan and I have just recently discovered that my bike is missing from the garage. Nothing else. Just my brand new, only been ridden three times, first bike since I was 7, Schwinn bicycle.
Yeah it sucks.

My mom and sis, Court, were here this weekend. We were planning on getting the baby's room together but the weekend was so hectic that we only managed to go to target to pick up a few more necessities for the babe. However, that in itself was very helpful. I really don't know what I'm doing. So, it's nice to have a mom, especially my own, help me get more ready.
The only thing is that I'm afraid to wash anything girlie just-in-case. It's silly, I know. I would just feel so bad if we were all ready for a little girl to bring home and we have a little boy. However, my grama keeps dreaming of a little redheaded girl and no boys. So that does make me feel a little better.
The other thing is that we picked up wooden letters spelling the name "Amelia" and my fear is that she'll come out and won't look like an "Amelia." But I went ahead and decorated them anyway. If worse comes to worse, I'll just go buy new letters. Oh well, right? It'll all work out in the end.
I've also officially hit a wall again. I've gotten really tired and I just don't want to do a whole lot. Both my mom and grama said that that happens and then women will get a burst of nesting one more time right before the baby comes. But I did clean up my craft stuff and cleaned our bedroom today. Now I want to do the baby's room but I'm waiting for some more energy to appear.

My mom is officially single. Good riddance to that guy. He's not on my good list. I'm just glad it's over. My mom can move on and actually be happy, we can all forget about him and our baby won't have to ever know him.

My brother-in-law is officially married. It's weird and not in the same. I'm very happy for him but also that the whole wedding thing is over. It's been so hectic around here that I almost forgot about our anniversary on the 3rd and my birthday is coming up here on the 5th. Plus the baby has been kind of at the top of my thought list. Who can blame me, right?

Anniversary weekend

I should probably blog about our Babymoon before I forget it all.

Thursday night we decided to camp out. Bryan set up the tent and I took the very hard task of blowing up the air mattress. Then Bryan worked on the campfire and it took the poor guy for-ev-er because he didn't have any starter wood. After much determination he did it and we had some very tasty hotdogs. Then we roasted some marshmallows and had ourselves some s'mores. I think I had three... But they were gooood.
We were planning on staying out in the tent but we were both sweating.. Bryan really bad -dripping in fact. So we decided to call it a night and head inside to the air conditioning. Cheating, I know. But that's the beauty of camping in the back yard.

Friday, we slept in... 'til 10. It was great. We then lounged around until 4 when we went to see The Dark Knight. It was amazing. I can see why they are talking about giving Heath Ledger an award post-humusly.
For the evening we played nintendo and then went out to the tent. It was a gorgeous night so we couldn't pass it up.
I didn't sleep great. It's hard to sleep on an air mattress when you're pregnant and you just keeping sinking towards the middle. Bryan offered that we go inside but I refused cause I wanted to "rough it." I can do it otherwise so I was bound and determined to do it while being pregnant.

Saturday, we slept in and then took our time getting up and around so we didn't ge to Potter's Obsession until about 12:30. I started with a plate and Bryan a beer mug. I asked him what he was going to do with a beer mug since we don't drink and he responded with "It will hold a lot of anything." Meaning soda.
I finished earlier than Bryan so I decided to get a mug and saucer set. I'm excited to see how they'll turn out.
Then about 5:30 we headed out to a friend's large pond and went a'fishin'. Bryan caught a small bass. I was very proud of him. However, I didn't catch anything. I was a little bummed but I love fishing so it really didn't matter. Pete and a deer had a little run-in. They didn't quite hit it off.

Sunday, our 4th anniversary, we slept in a bit then headed to the Amanas for lunch. We ate at the Ronneburg which was really good. That is some really good German food. Afterwards we walked around and enjoyed the cute little shops for a while before the heat got to be too much and we headed to IC.
Bryan got a new baseball cap and I got to go to a maternity store. Lo-o-oved it. I bought the first outfit I tried on cause it was awesome. I wish I had known about this store since I started growing a bump.
We headed home and relaxed the rest of the night.

It was a grand ol' time.