Ok so don't think this is a pity party because it isn't. But I was thinking today that 4 friends (that I know of) from college have gotten married or just done so. I was driving down to Des Moines today with my husband to see my mom and sister when a friend of mine had popped into my head. As I was thinking of her I remembered that she had told me her and her now/then fiance were planning on marrying this month. But when she had first told me it was back in april and I haven't seen an invite. Before this friend another had wed back in December. This friend was my maid of honor and two weeks before her wedding I was asked if I would lite candles in hers. Could you think of a bigger insult?
I was asked back in april if I wouldn't mind being the guest book attendee at an acquaintance's wedding which I honestly didn't mind seeing as how she is a very lovely person but I didn't know her that well. But to lite candles in your former maid of honor's wedding? And at the last minute?? What else I couldn't believe, but had to figure on my own, is when asking her about her plans for her wedding she would do everything (probably even scratch her own eyes out) before she would say anything about her bridesmaids. Truth be told, if she would have just come right out and said, "Hey September, I couldn't find another dress and have already asked this many to be in the wedding," I would have understood. But no. Three weeks before the date I had to drag it out of her, basically tell her that I'm not stupid (fyi) and knowing how weddings work that I'm not in the wedding. Thank you inconsiderate MOH.
Now please understand that I would not have even agreed to be her MOH knowing that she has a dear close sister to her but at least a bridesmaid. And after her MOH she had another girl who also had my MOH in her own wedding, but that wasn't the sad part. It was that my MOH had once told me that she considered me closer to her than she did this other girl.. yet where was I. After the second girl she had this diva of a witch that she knew I couldn't stand, in college and then after, stand for her as well. This being the reason she wouldn't say anything to me about the bridesmaids. And again, where was I? Oh right, in a pew not three people from a terrible, horrific ex-boyfriend that I couldn't stand to look at nor be near. It took every ounce of my being to sit there and endure this wedding after being insulted more than one can take trying to hold in each tear that fought to escape.
I did make it through the wedding and even truthfully wished them long happiness. But after that we had left, my dear husband and I, because I couldn't bear to make it to the reception. I was in tears all the way home. And still my sorrow wasn't known until I had to make it so to my MOH a month after the happening. Even then it felt like she had received something but on her way home threw it around as if it weren't there then not even realize it was gone when she arrived.
Lesson learned dear maid of honor, you're not so dear after all.
3 comments:
Deep. I'm sorry. The same thing happened to my older sister. She was married 6 years ago. Since then 3 of her bridesmaids and her MOH have married and she wasn't asked to be in any of their weddings. She was also quite hurt.
Get over it. Being a bride is stressful enough without having to worry about their friends getting insulted. A lot of things happen and sometimes people drift apart and they make new friends or have a lot of sisters. There can be a lot of reasons. Be happy for your friend and be there for her when she asks. If you cause drama, you are only going to remind her why she didn't ask you in the first place.
Truthfully, that was quite some time ago now. I mean, it did hurt me deeply but I have moved past it. This post was just a vent expressing my hurt, something I needed to get out.
Quite frankly now I find that there is more to life than who's wedding you were in or not in.
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