Ok so don't think this is a pity party because it isn't. But I was thinking today that 4 friends (that I know of) from college have gotten married or just done so. I was driving down to Des Moines today with my husband to see my mom and sister when a friend of mine had popped into my head. As I was thinking of her I remembered that she had told me her and her now/then fiance were planning on marrying this month. But when she had first told me it was back in april and I haven't seen an invite. Before this friend another had wed back in December. This friend was my maid of honor and two weeks before her wedding I was asked if I would lite candles in hers. Could you think of a bigger insult?
I was asked back in april if I wouldn't mind being the guest book attendee at an acquaintance's wedding which I honestly didn't mind seeing as how she is a very lovely person but I didn't know her that well. But to lite candles in your former maid of honor's wedding? And at the last minute?? What else I couldn't believe, but had to figure on my own, is when asking her about her plans for her wedding she would do everything (probably even scratch her own eyes out) before she would say anything about her bridesmaids. Truth be told, if she would have just come right out and said, "Hey September, I couldn't find another dress and have already asked this many to be in the wedding," I would have understood. But no. Three weeks before the date I had to drag it out of her, basically tell her that I'm not stupid (fyi) and knowing how weddings work that I'm not in the wedding. Thank you inconsiderate MOH.
Now please understand that I would not have even agreed to be her MOH knowing that she has a dear close sister to her but at least a bridesmaid. And after her MOH she had another girl who also had my MOH in her own wedding, but that wasn't the sad part. It was that my MOH had once told me that she considered me closer to her than she did this other girl.. yet where was I. After the second girl she had this diva of a witch that she knew I couldn't stand, in college and then after, stand for her as well. This being the reason she wouldn't say anything to me about the bridesmaids. And again, where was I? Oh right, in a pew not three people from a terrible, horrific ex-boyfriend that I couldn't stand to look at nor be near. It took every ounce of my being to sit there and endure this wedding after being insulted more than one can take trying to hold in each tear that fought to escape.
I did make it through the wedding and even truthfully wished them long happiness. But after that we had left, my dear husband and I, because I couldn't bear to make it to the reception. I was in tears all the way home. And still my sorrow wasn't known until I had to make it so to my MOH a month after the happening. Even then it felt like she had received something but on her way home threw it around as if it weren't there then not even realize it was gone when she arrived.
Lesson learned dear maid of honor, you're not so dear after all.
"...I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep." -Pablo Neruda
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Thursday, October 20, 2005
calvin and hobbs moment
I was reading a friends blog when I came across this paragraph.
I laughed hysterically.. I'm not sure why. Maybe because it sounds like me.
"it has now officially snowed for 15 hours straight. I'm really impressed by this. Apparently the trees are not because most of them have refused to hold the snow above the ground and have started tearing off their own limbs in protest. I tried to interview trees in the parking lot to find out why they have gone on this apparent strike. I was answered by having a clump of very wet snow dropped on my shoulder, I take this to mean no comment."
-Jonathan
I laughed hysterically.. I'm not sure why. Maybe because it sounds like me.
"it has now officially snowed for 15 hours straight. I'm really impressed by this. Apparently the trees are not because most of them have refused to hold the snow above the ground and have started tearing off their own limbs in protest. I tried to interview trees in the parking lot to find out why they have gone on this apparent strike. I was answered by having a clump of very wet snow dropped on my shoulder, I take this to mean no comment."
-Jonathan
Monday, October 10, 2005
exhausting exhilaration
These last two weeks have been exhilarating, and yes I know that it is now the end of it all but I've just now recovered from such turning events. It was beyond exhausting but well worth what all happened. The weekend before last, both Saturday and Sunday, was the first weekend that art was introduced to my church. Not that it wasn't invited but more unwanted to have control over. "Just another thing to have to take time and plan," I'm sure some were thinking to themselves. I myself am an artist and am a passionate one at that. This, for certain, is one thing that I could be paid to do and be happy for the rest of my life. So at a Creative meeting, that both Bryan and I attend, we were planning for the upcoming weekends and when it came to the weekend where our Pastor would be talking about creativity Bryan happily jumped in with some good ideas. One was that I would be on stage drawing while the Pastor spoke. I couldn't be more excited for this opportunity. So as the weekend came others in the congregation had submitted their artwork to be displayed for the CW and they were amazing. I could not have asked for a better turn-out. I did five drawings and each one was accepted warmly, although some didn't see the whole picture those who did loved it and helped those who didn't eventually come to see it as well.
As for this last weekend it was merely an overnight Christ In Youth for our Junior High. But after it all I couldn't have been more exhausted from their enthusiasm but in the same more touched by them. I really wouldn't even know where to start but I can say this: although the adults complained that there wasn't any drama and they thought things were better last year the kids took so much more from CIY this year than the year before. Yes, there wasn't any drama but at the same time there was. The CIY crew opened up to the kids by showing them through a backstage camera the real drama in their own lives. I think that touched the kids more than the adults had realized. And then when we went to our own group time the kids opened up to us expressing what was happening in their own lives. There were things from how their parents divorce was killing them inside because they feel alone to their friends and parent(s) telling them that it was pointless to believe what they believe. I am amazed at how strong these kids are because it's been a long time since I was in Jr. High and I know that they have real problems it's just a matter of getting them to open up so that we can do what we can to let them know we have their backs. But not only did the kids take something from this event I believe that the adults did as well. As a matter of fact I know they did. And I think that our own expressions of how CIY had touched us let the kids know that adults have issues as well.. we aren't perfect nor are our lives and that they aren't alone in what they are going through.
As for this last weekend it was merely an overnight Christ In Youth for our Junior High. But after it all I couldn't have been more exhausted from their enthusiasm but in the same more touched by them. I really wouldn't even know where to start but I can say this: although the adults complained that there wasn't any drama and they thought things were better last year the kids took so much more from CIY this year than the year before. Yes, there wasn't any drama but at the same time there was. The CIY crew opened up to the kids by showing them through a backstage camera the real drama in their own lives. I think that touched the kids more than the adults had realized. And then when we went to our own group time the kids opened up to us expressing what was happening in their own lives. There were things from how their parents divorce was killing them inside because they feel alone to their friends and parent(s) telling them that it was pointless to believe what they believe. I am amazed at how strong these kids are because it's been a long time since I was in Jr. High and I know that they have real problems it's just a matter of getting them to open up so that we can do what we can to let them know we have their backs. But not only did the kids take something from this event I believe that the adults did as well. As a matter of fact I know they did. And I think that our own expressions of how CIY had touched us let the kids know that adults have issues as well.. we aren't perfect nor are our lives and that they aren't alone in what they are going through.